From the first to the last session we had with Suzie, I felt so ready for this baby. My first baby left me with a lot of trauma and this time I was so lucky to be able to see the whole event with excitement. Firstly I knew this time around that I didn't HAVE to be induced. I did not NEED to have my baby out the second I was full term. I strongly and confidently was able to tell my doctors that no, I would wait longer than they suggested and we would take it day by day. We could assess my individual progression as it came along. Not signing up for it before you actually give baby a chance to be ready. This gave me such calmness as I knew I could just wait for him to be ready and not the doctors.
And as if by magic one night while watching a TV programme in bed, I felt the urge to stand up and as I stood my waters broke. Rather than being fearful at this point, I was sooo excited, if I had not made my own judgement call on waiting longer for my baby to be ready, I would have been in hospital three days before having an induction. In those three days my body and my baby decided. Now normally because of Suzie's wonderful classes I would have waited longer at home and stayed calm and in my home, as i knew it would help baby along. But I live 50min from the hospital, and for me, my calmness would come from being in a safe place to labour and not my car.
So we called the hospital and started getting our bags together. I also had happy jitters, a mix of excitement and a rush/change of all my hormones and endorphins. This is when my husband started putting into practice everything he learned. He got bits to the car, he got me my pregnancy ball, water, cosy jumper etc. Then we were off. The best decision I ever made was putting on my sunglasses (top tip from Suzie). It was late at night and my body and brain were used to dark, cozy lighting. I was not about to let the hospitals lights ruin that. 100% recommend buying some sepia toned ones. I felt like I was in a dream state. We played birth affirmations on the way there as I connected the most to that soundtrack from Suzies course. I didn't count any of my contractions but my husband was and at my request, relaying them back to me. That was my choice. None of this I did during my first, I didn't even think about it. By the time we arrived at the hospital I was still excited but calm still in my sunnies. As expected and is normal my contractions slowed. My husband talked to the widwives and handed over my plan, all I did was relax and got into optimal positions to help baby along. As we waited my husband took a nap on the bed. I'm sure he thought it would be a long time like our first. I asked the midwife for a pregnancy ball to bounce on while he slept, and not long after I woke him to tell him I needed to use the loo and to help me as I didn't want to break out of my zen like state.
I started getting in more discomfort, not pain but discomfort. I will add here that my contractions had changed from all over my tummy to just low down and the midwives said I would have to wait for full stomach ones again before baby was coming. So I waited but the discomfort was getting heavier, I will also add here, no one had checked me out or how far along I was because of the lack of these full body contractions. In a way that was sort of nice as I didn't over think anything as I assumed I was no where near birth yet. I then asked for a tens machine as I had chosen to try and have this baby without medicine, as I was confident in my knowledge that my happy and calm body could do this no problem. (Not the mindset I had for my first) Not 5 mins of having the tens machine on, I needed the loo again and this time I didn't want to get off. I knew this position was optimal for birth and everything was telling me that here I shall stay because the discomfort eased off when sitting there. Then something came over me, a wave of shivers and a rise in flight or fight. (This is where with my first it all went a bit Pete tong) But I knew now what I didn't before. This was it. This was the moment where I needed to stay calm and relaxed because he was going to be coming. If it wasn't for Suzies knowledge I would of freaked out like before..because in that moment there is a part of your mind that says you can't do this, you need help. Set into action my amazing birth partner my husband, who on repeat said YOU CAN, YOU CAN! He got me a midwife to come to the bathroom and I said, I think I'm about to give birth. I'm not sure she believed me because I hadn’t even been examined yet. Low and behold, the greatest and most emotional feeling I ever felt, my body naturally and without any aid starting pushing. I remember almost laughing that somehow my body was bearing down and I had absolutely no control or idea how I was doing it. It was pure euphoria to realise my body was ready and was doing the hard work for me.
Cue the funny and slow walk to the labour ward as I beared down every few minutes and had to stop walking and squat. Just thinking about it now makes me laugh with happiness. All that discomfort from moments before goes. There is no other feeling than the urge to push along with my body. As I reached the room, I chose to avoid the bed and keep moving, I paced a little but the midwifes recommend I lay down so they can just check on my progress. I could easily of said no thank you but I was keen to find out. Another funny moment when the midwife asked me if I had a headache, I was confused but then released it was because I was still wearing my sunglasses haha, I said no and explained that I just want to stay calm and relaxed. Once I was on the bed I told them I was not going to lay down on my back but I would stay up on the bed. I chose to sit backwards with my arms on the headrest and knees on the bed. It was perfect, and there I spent most of my time. Because of my new knowledge I wasn't in any pain, it's weird to say because my first was crazy, but there honestly was none, tiredness yes, body aches yes, a tad exhausted yes, but not pain. I opted to use the gas and air as my labour progressed and the pushing got closer and closer together, I let me body do most of the work as I knew it would, only towards the end I asked the midwife to help guide me and show me where to push as I felt I needed that extra help to concentrate towards the end. My husband stayed right next to me the whole time. Passing me water like I had never needed it before, and god that helped. I don't think I've ever been that thirsty. In no time at all a head was appearing, sadly I wasn't quite opening enough and midwives suggested a helping hand in the form of a suction cup and a slight incision. I didn't even need to think about replying in fact I didn't even hear them ask, because my husband knew my plan and what I wanted. He asked them what was the need to rush this, and we would prefer no intervention. So they waited a little longer as we wanted but someone's head was a bit too big, (granted I 100% did not massage anywhere near enough a I had planned to down there) but I had stretched enough. So we agreed for the health of our baby, as he was getting exhausted, they could make a small incision. Not even a second after that, and one final push and he practically flew out. No suction cup needed. I could have cried with joy, as planned he was handed to me straight away and we waited for the cord to empty fully before being cut by my husband. Still with sunglasses on, I lay there baby in arms. I had done it. I had birthed my boy with just gas and air, the overwhelming empowerment was unreal. I look back on my journey now with such fondness but with a realisation that none of the birth choices with my first had been my own. I had no idea what my body was going to go through, no idea that I could say why? How? What other options are there? I will forever tell the world how hypnobirthing was the single greatest thing we did as a family to bring my second boy into this world. If you do nothing else, learn about how your body is made for this, what your body is actually doing and can birth a baby with a positive, relaxed outlook, a great birthing partner and little else.
